So Ive started my spiritual practice again along with meditating and why I keep stopping is absolutely stupid but atleast I know why now. And the reason why is because, like many of us, I got caught in the trap of the mind. I got caught up in the whirlwind of thought process and through deep meditation I was able to see how truly tragic that is. I would rationalise my way out of doing meditation because "I felt fine" or "Ill do it tomorrow" etc etc. When all along I was suffering and didn't know why. Until I finally forced myself to sit down one day and do it.
At first I saw my mind going at a million miles a minute. It was taking me here, there and everywhere. That happens for a good long while. Then I started to get figgety and I didn't know why. I thought I was doing everything right, key word "thought". Then I realized that for some reason I felt like there was something I needed to be doing, like that because I was just sitting here I should be feeling guilty. I would ask myself "shouldn't I be listening to music" then say "No there is nothing that needs to be done" or "shouldn't I be applying to jobs?" then say "No there is nothing that needs to be done." "Well shoudln't I be going to the gym?" then say "No there is nothing that needs to be done." After asking myself about 15 questions of the same nature and giving the same respone I finally dropped all my attachments and was like "yeaaaa, thats it"
You see the truth is that there is nothing that needs to be done, how about that? "But what about my taxes? what about my work? what about my schedule? Those don't need to be done? What kind of rational person says there is nothing to be done when I have all this weight on me!" Well that just exactly it, you're to much in the mind. Because those don't need to be done either, they'll be taken care of regardless of how much you stress over it or attach yourself to its outcome. God, tao, the seat of conciousness, whatever you want to call it moves all things and they will be moved too and when they are moved something else will take it's place and so on and so on until your karma finally runs out. And thats the point of the title of this post "the sun isn't busy shinning, it just is." Do you think the sun has anxiety or is stressing over having to provide light to the earth everyday? No it's not. Because without a mind it can't get caught up in it's tireless trips. It's just filling it's role in perfect harmony with the rest of the universe