And I don't know why. Maybe it's because Im jealous because Im not that way? Or maybe it's because I see people who are so caught up in whats going to happen next that they lose themselves in abunch of nothing. We live in such a high pressure society and I think thats why I have trouble finding where I fit in and in constant conflict with it. Our society, especially in the west, is all about being productive. The message is Succeed! Achieve! Produce! Acheive! Acheive! Which there is nothing wrong with being successfull and accomplishing your dreams but when thats what your life is all about thats where the problem is. We're constantly looking for more and bigger and better things. No one is ever satisfied with what they have and if they just slowed down and lived in the present moment they would see a totally diffrent world for themselves. People always think that if they just get to this point in their lives or get to that thing that they've always wanted that then their lives will feel happy and fullfilled, and most people who do achieve whatever that is don't feel that way. They get to that point finally and they realize that it didn't fix their problems like they thought it would. They base their entire worth as a human being on what they've accomplished or how much they've produced or whatever it is, and all it causes is suffering. Yeah the ego is getting fed and is on this great trip and riding high when you do come through. But alot of these things can easily be taken away and when it does at some point or another your ego will take a huge dive into the world of depression. You'll feel worthless and depressed because you feel like you are nothing, when it's not true. You've just spent all this time feeding the ego and depriving the soul.
I don't know about you but I don't want to base my happyness or my sense of worth in the world to things out side of the body. On things that society says that you should base it on. It's to rocky of ground because it can fall out from under you at any moment. Your life will fluxuate with the way things are going around you, up and down, up and down, up and down. Look at whats going on today with the economy. Nobody's job is safe, nobody's. I don't want to live in a world like that. I want to find peace and thats why Im starting my spiritual practice again. To find true inner peace. To know that what I do or what ive done doesn't make me who I am, It's just part of my ego dress. Im working on living in every moment. Enjoying the birth and the death of each moment as it goes by and finding the perfection in it all, even the bad ones. I trully believe that the bad times we have are just as beautiful and perfect as the great times, because the bad times bring us closer to the one, or the seat of conciousness, or god, or whatever you want to call it. It's helps us not to forget who we really are. And I will finish with a quote from Ramana Maharshi that I believe fits with this.
"Nearly all mankind is more or less unhappy
because nearly all do not know the true self
Real happiness abides in self-knowledge alone.
ALL ELSE IS FLEETING
to know one's self
is to be blissful always"
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Hey Adam! I believe that being goal-oriented and being fully awake in each moment do not have to be mutually exclusive. You know me well enough to know how goal driven I am and simultaneusly intend to be fully alive and aware of every moment.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you about ego getting i nour way. I have to constantly be mindful of how I need to burn it away each day.
I am so glad you began your blog. It is so wonderful for me to see how so much of what you and I have worked on is so very much a part of who you are now all of these years later. You're a fine person and I am fortunate that our paths have crossed. Dr. Crew
I agree totally dr.crew. I think that Im still trying to absorb and understand everything in my spiritual practice and I think Im taking some things out of context. As Ram Dass learned and has taught we can both embrace our humanity and not be in the game at the same time, thats the paradox. We are both the victim and the creator of it all. And for me I've been denying my humanity and trying to push it away and trying to push everything in the material world away and being cynical of everything material. But it doesn't work. And I do have to say working with you all these years has touched me in a very special way and I am very thankful. Without you and the guy who punched me in the face I wouldn't have learned any of this and I would be lost. But Ive also learned that it's not something you practice until you feel better then you stop. No, it's something you have to practice everyday and are constantly learning everyday until the day you die
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